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  • Writer's pictureHelena Smith

My child is struggling, what now?

As parents, we’ll do everything in our power to save our children from disappointment. It’s heartbreaking for you if your child has had some or other disappointment.

You and your child may have anticipated that he was going to be elected as a leader. Then it doesn’t happen. Perhaps you want to immediately accuse the school of the unfair system. All just to make your child happy.

Dear parents, the most valuable lessons and character-building happen in times of disappointment. Now’s the time to teach your child that life is sometimes unfair, and that bad things sometimes happen to good people. No intervention on your part, to level your child's path, can teach your child this vital lesson.

For example, if your child wasn’t chosen as a leader, teach him that he can still be a leader through his positive attitude and conduct. Teach your child that a resentful attitude after a disappointment like this will only harm him.

I often see aggrieved parents flocking to school if their child hasn’t made it into a sports team. Sometimes parents even send their children to another school. What life lesson does a child learn from that? A friend of mine's daughter recently didn’t make it to her school's A-group for hockey practice. She was of course devastated because she had trained very hard. My friend and her husband then encouraged their daughter to be the best B-team player, as well as the player with the best attitude.

In times like these, you and your child should read Romans 5 verse 3 again:

… but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. – NIV

Dear parents, in times of disappointment, do not act like the typical lawnmower parent who wants to clear the path for your child. However, be there with loving support and a willing ear. Make sure your child will feel at ease to talk to you and assure him of your intercession. Also, be prepared to sometimes cry with your child and pick up the pieces of their broken heart. Yes, it’s difficult, but have you ever met a spiritually mature person who hasn’t ever experienced difficult times?

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