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  • Writer's pictureJohan Smith

A dangerous parent

In some homes you very often hear "because I say so", or "do as I say and stop asking questions". "Cry just once more" is another popular one with which children are threatened. This type of child is actually taught not to feel anything, nor to have or show emotions. Such a child eventually becomes completely disempowered emotionally. Emotions equal a mistake, and that's how such a child grows up.

Dad and mom feel very satisfied with themselves because there is 'peace' in the home. Brother and sister are dead quiet, don’t utter a word and are perplexed and timid. Dad and mom don’t realise that an untruth is living and growing in the child. Emotions are a mistake. The answer is to suppress emotions at all costs. It's wrong to have feelings.

...... and even worse, this is then the behavior one detects in an adult. Cold as ice and emotionless. Everyone wonders where it came from. Is it possible for one person to be so emotionless and cold? Nobody thinks it might be the result of parents' behavior and actions when the person was 4, 6 or 10 years old.

Because of the pent-up emotions, the feelings-deprived helplessness, some of these children are overly aggressive. It’s the only emotion they know. It's the only emotion that helps release pent-up emotion. Low self-esteem is the norm in such a child - in dad and mom's eyes the child was clearly never important. It was a "keep quiet, or ...." situation every day.

Dad and mom, let's help our children develop feelings again. Let's teach them to correctly articulate and express emotions. Let's teach them calmly and peacefully how to deal with emotions appropriately. Let's once again become the emotional mentors in our children's lives. This is how we’ll send emotionally healthy children into the world as young adults.

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